The sketch above, by Sean Ward, is of Ryan’s beloved business program friend’s. I think we all know who Ryan is! ha. I helped Ryan enroll in this program as I saw his leadership abilities (early on), and he really wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life. So I helped him expand. Something he did for so many other people (including myself).
To create original futures by expanding realities, and empowering minds. This is OrangeThink.
As a feminist (inspired by his mother), he had particular interest in helping women grow tall.
As Ryan would often say…
This site is a work in progress, and some parts are probably not coherent, or flow as well. I made a lot of it when I was in a hard core grief state. It gave me comfort to remember Ryan, as I couldn’t share what I was going through with many. I will clean it up, over time. So please do come back here now and then / subscribe to updates.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ~ Ryan Arthur
In January 2014, I came across this on a street sign at one of our old favorite coffee shops. The quote is from one of Ryan’s favorite authors.
‘The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.’ Terry Pratchett
However, as impressionable as Ryan could be sometimes – he eventually would push other people’s negativity and ill will to the side as he wished to see the best in everyone. We shared this in common, as we shared many things in common.
He offers this sage advice, posted on my birthday (in which he wished me a good one!):
“Have faith in humanity. Trust in yourself. Kindness to everyone, including your enemies. Be real and you will be happy.” August 5, 2012
We could all learn from Ryan.There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about Ryan, our life together, what temporarily divided us, his illnesses, what happened after his passing, and how he continues to impact my life. I grieve for him every day, even if I learned to smile again. He will always hold a special place in my heart, no matter what. And I miss him so much, as I’m sure so many others feel the same.
Ryan had life long illnesses that became grave in late winter / spring of 2013. Ryan wasn’t aware of how grave it was, until it was too late. And then he just spoke in cryptic messages, that I can look back on in hindsight. In his last months, who knew how serious things were but he couldn’t get it all sorted out.
The last time I saw Ryan, on December 10th, we shared a “Last Supper”. He said he wasn’t hungry, but he wanted to know if he could pick me up something for me to eat. Little did I know, at the time, that lack of appetite was a sign of congested heart failure (which was likely exasperated by the ice storm!). Nor did I realize, after he picked me up and swung me around, that his stumble… was due to that either. It was a pleasant evening though. We decided to just chill, chat, catch up, talk about the shenanigans of people, he shared music with me (I had the blahs…), and he gave me his sage advice, as usual and he hinted at a new future together. At least I got a hug, and ruffled through his Jesus beard (I remarked), that he had been growing out — the longest I had ever seen it. We chatted for about 45 minutes on the 18th, and he mentioned he didn’t even talk to most people that long. Well, I’m a chatty Cathy! Again, it was a wonderful conversation and I’m so glad I had it. We made plans for the 21st, but the ice storm erupted, and so it was a no-go. Fate. A devilish thing, sometimes. And the last time we texted was in the morning of December 24th. We wanted to make sure we were both okay, because the ice storm took out power.
Ryan was so romantic. He wrote to me:
“The lottery of life
The most valuable prize
Loving and nurturing wife
Passion beyond all size.” Ryan Arthur
December 14, 2011 at 8:43pm
In December of 2011, he asked for a re-commitment ceremony; however, I felt so overwhelmed, and tired. We needed to take some time to figure ourselves out. I wish I had been stronger. He was so stressed, and just broke. We just didn’t have the kind of support, that we needed so desperately. Lesson learned, I hope.
“If i had a choice between you and breathing, i’d choose you any day of the week and twice on sundays. with mucho weird love, ry.” Feb 5, 2003
I found this today (May 25, 2016). I love the little bits of communication I get from my very best friend – just when I need a lift up. <3
Ryan was 36 years old. Last time I measured Ryan, his human figure was 7 feet, he wore size 16-18 shoes (guess it depended on the type), size 16.5 – 17.5 neck, 36-38 inches by 36 inches pants, 38 inch chest, and 36 inch long arms. 36!
He was a big (and sometimes slender — his weight would fluctuate — we used to joke that he had two stomachs!) and tall man. I used to get a lot of his clothes and shoes from eBay, and Eddie Bauer was great too! He used to also go to Si Vous Plait sports. Still, some things needed to be custom made. He was special, in all ways.
He was very helpful, and didn’t think to ask for anything in return. He thought the best of people, and made people feel better about themselves. He wanted to see everyone succeed, and was quick to praise. Unfortunately, some people would take advantage of his good nature. I was very protective of him, and didn’t like to see that happen. Ryan was also very protective of anyone he loved. You could not say a bad word about someone he adored, or he would pounce. Ha!
Ryan was/is a Pisces Sun, Virgo Moon, Mercury Pisces, Venus Aries, Mars Aquarius, Saturn Leo, Jupiter Taurus, Neptune Sagittarius, Uranus Scorpio, and Pluto and North Node Libra. He was a 33/6 life path — a Master Healer. Ryan typed Orange, Green, followed by Blue (true colors), INFP, INTP, INXP, Amiable.
His Neptune, was in his 1st house. And he had Scorpio rising. He appeared to be a very gentle and mysterious man. And he was that, but he was also what I called a Spicy Pisces or Piries with that Aries and Aquarius Venus-Mars action!
Ryan was exceptionally intelligent, and so sometimes he could be a little arrogant in that he would wonder why you didn’t know what he knew. But once he settled in to the fact, that he’s just smarter than most of us, he would be incredibly patient and calm and helpful.
In relationships, and social situations Ryan had been coming into his own. When I first met him, he was very quiet and often blurted out inappropriate things. But as time went on, I shared what I knew of human nature and how to approach difficult situations. He ended up becoming an amazing telephone sales manager, who was adored by his clients for his communication style.
Today is January 7, 2016 – exactly 2 years from the date that I found out Ryan had been released. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him, that I’m not reminded about him, that I miss him. He was my very best friend, and confidante. And while he, like all of his had our faults, he truly was a kind hearted soul. And so special. I love, and miss you choco banane. And I will continue to use this space to add my random thoughts, and memories about you.
Ryan had a variety of interests (many of which, we shared — an amazing best friend this Girl has ever had!):
Sports, Gambling, & Games: Archery, Hockey (and doing fantasy hockey picks), Rollerblading, Frisbee (he was really impressed with his older brother and his love of Frisbee Golf). Frankly, Ryan was willing to try out anything that allowed him to move. He loved moving. He enjoyed Chess, Backgammon, Scrabble, Uno, Card games, Train sets, Video Games (WOW, Minecraft, and more!). Nature! Ryan loved wolves. And he loved the outdoors. Ryan wanted to pilot a plane, and race cars; however, his height often limited what he could do in these areas. He really was a physical man — especially with Venus Aries, in his 5th house.
Creativity: Writing poetry and short stories, making up words or funny ways to express things (like a filing cabinet was referred to as a brief case), guitar playing, singing, origami, and taking video. I also introduced him to drawing, painting, and working with clay. I’ll post his paintings, pictures, and more as time goes on.
Movies & TV Shows: Ryan enjoyed a lot of fantasy, sci-fi, speculative fiction, adventure, comedy, dark artistic films and tv shows. He wanted to be like Sean Connery, but I said, “You’re the best. Why be like Sean Connery, when you have your own special mojo going on?” 🙂 Heavy Metal, the movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMNjdCel8L8 / https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIJK0JNVvYM
Books: Ryan loved reading fiction. Especially speculative fiction. I introduced him to the Terry Pratchett series. I loved reading with him. He was truly adorable when he was comfortable, and he was pretty good at getting comfortable. God,I miss him.
Music: Ryan had eclectic tastes. His recent favorites were. I met him loving U2 – he was making a Mixed Video for Tanya — one of his friends, that he had a crush on! Ryan and his crushes. hehe (I’ll list out his music later).
Food & Drink: The finest wine, whiskey, cheese, and chocolates. He loved cooking AND baking. He would make a mean flourless chocolate cake, inspired by me needing to diet and get off carbs! I gifted him a cooking class. He was hooked! Oh, and GANGA! hehe… He loved Salad King’s Orange Beef dish and Warrior Chicken Rice Box from Freshii. He loved trying out new drinks, dishes, and restaurants. He had a taste for fine fast foods, and gourmet restaurants. I suggested he check out Ruth Chris steak house. He very much liked that too. He also loved Turkish Delight, Fruit jellys (the English kind), and butter tarts. He sure had a sweet tooth. But he was also very much a pizza and wings kind of guy. We had this telepathic connection. I’d say: Honey, do you want to order pizza? And he’d say, “I’m already ordering online”. LOL 🙂 Loved gløgg
Computers: Being a Pisces Sun-Mercury, with Aquarius Mars (in the house of networking) — Ryan was a natural at figuring out how computers worked, as well as the language of electronics. He was proud to have made Sudoko games, and worked on a Facebook game. He had great ideas, even though sometimes he would push a bit too much for them to be implemented. But that was Ryan — hard to be that smart! Ha! 🙂
The Occult: Ryan was an investigator at heart. He loved the idea of being a Forensic Specialist. He was an accomplished and sought after reader of tarot cards (his grandmother purchased his first deck around the age of seven), astrology, palm (The Palminator LOL), numerology, and more.
Women: Ryan adored women. I imagine that arose because he adored his mother so much. She represented a powerful and intelligent being that he could look up to. Women were smart, and he loved and revered that. Ryan was a bit of feminist and wanted to empower women — especially women who were less confident and/or ignorant of their gifts. Ryan used to cover my ears, when a siren wailed by. He was so kind, and sweet. He knew how much that hurt my ears, and he was always quick to bring me comfort.
Travel: Ryan really wanted to travel a lot more, but with Saturn in the 9th house of long distance travel — it was often hard to go far. We went to Cozumel for our Honeymoon and he was in heaven. And in July 2013, he made it out to Italy and other places. We did a lot of local weekend getaways to Niagara Falls, and took in the sites and sounds of the falls, nature, and wineries. We also got to travel to Montreal, on business. Great times!
Random bits: Kuala bears, kids toys, puzzles. His favorite colors were green and orange. He had a strong interest in Asian culture. He was a physical healer. Anyone who got a chance to get physically close to him, could feel a very strong energy emitting from him.
Dreams Ryan’s dreams were plenty. The mission statement, we came up for him, was: Creating original futures by expanding realities, and empowering minds. One day back in 2004, we were hanging out at a playground, and I asked him: If you could do anything you wanted to, right now, without education or money being an issue, what would you do? And he said he would found a colorful play space for executives. Ryan wanted to get his MBA, and he was trying to work on that, towards the end of his life. I always encouraged him to pursue business, as I could see the latent leader in him.
He loved cuddling, hugging, massaging, being cuddled, hugged, and massaged. He was truly a sensuous, romantic, and physical man — as well as having a brilliant higher mind. <3
(Note: There is so much more. I’ll keep adding to this post, as time goes on).
These are interests Ryan recorded once: (to be continued), art, beauty, chaos, cryptography, curiosity, dreaming, experimenting, exploring, intelligence, knowledge, learning, movies with character, music, philosophy, poetry, reading, rhythm and soul